The general public are out there!!

So, apparently according to a recent survey the average duration of sex is 2 minutes! 2 minutes!? That's mad, and since that's an average it means that some people said less than 2 minutes. Now, what I want to know is who the ruddy hell did the ask? Perhaps they just wandered into every Games Workshop and Star Trek convention across the country. Interviewing awkward virgins sporting Spock ears who can say that the height of their sexual experience is rubbing one out while laying back and thinking of Aragorn. There is only one lord of their ring, and unfortunately it's Captain Jean-Luc Picard, who incidentally I would love to have narrate my life. i mean, c'mon. How epic is that man's voice? it's unreal!
Apparently these survey's come from the general public, which answers a lot. The general public can't be trusted to answer survey's to gain reliable information. They're idiots who walk around doing idiotic things in an idiotic manner! You'd get better results doing a survey on sausage rolls at the vegan society. The general public are out there! So stay indoors safe from stupidity. That's what I'll be doing. Sat here safely looking out the window and making cynical comments about what I see. Well, not quite. The curtains are closed and I can't frankly be arsed to open them. Plus you never know what goggle eyed member of the public could be out there.
Oh, and did I mention that I discovered that 2 minutes sex survey thing from a pub quiz? so I guess that's the validity of that out the window. Oh well...